What comes up for you when you think about setting goals? What are your thoughts about it? How do those thoughts make you feel? For many of us, when it comes to setting goals a wide range of emotions comes up.
Sometimes it’s exciting! We just can’t wait to get started. We might even order up a new exercise outfit or a piece of exercise equipment to help with that well-intentioned fitness goal. Or have you ever purchased a pair of super cute jeans that were two sizes too small with the plan of fitting into them by the end of the month? If you’ve been there, I give you a virtual high five.
Sometimes just the thought of setting a new goal feels daunting. Emotions come up like anxiety, fear, depression and even dread. Like, “I’d rather crawl into a hole and hibernate the rest of the year rather than set a new goal that I might fail at, ugh!” If this is you, you are not alone.
I could give you statistics on how many people make goals and then fail to achieve them each year, but that’s not what we are here for. You my friend are different. You have dreams, desires and ideas about what you can accomplish and today I want to help you with that. You have it in you. We all do. We are built to achieve your biggest dreams but you may need just a little coaching to help put it into a perspective that works with you rather than against you.
Never again do we need to feel like setting a goal is a win or lose state of affairs. That, if we achieve our goal we win and if we don’t we lose. And somehow, we attach meaning to it that we are either rock stars for making it to the finish line or more likely that we are bad people, incapable of accomplishment and unworthy of the rewards we seek.
In fact, you deserve to live the life you love and feel great about all of your accomplishments so I’ve got a couple of tips to help you overcome those negative emotions that you might be experiencing.
Are you ready? Let’s dive in!
- You can extend the goal. For example, let’s say you had a goal of saving $10,000 by March 31st, 2021. The end of March comes around and you only have $9,000 saved. You could either feel bad that you didn’t make your goal OR you can extend the timeline. You just haven’t reached your goal …yet. Now doesn’t that feel better? You’ve made amazing progress and you are so close. You just need a little more time. So, extend the goal a month or two and keep stacking the dollars away!
- Make sure to celebrate what you have accomplished and more importantly what you’ve learned along the way. A friend of mine, set a goal to start a podcast. When she set out she knew nothing at all about podcasts but she set a goal to have it up and running in 3 months. She discovered that there is a lot of moving parts to starting and maintaining a podcast and that 3 months was not enough time for her to learn everything she needed to know. She did not make her goal but, instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about it, she made a list of all of the things she had learned. She celebrated the steps that she had made toward her goal in that 3-month period of time. Then, she made a new plan to continue working toward launching her podcast and I have no doubt she will get there.
- Acknowledge what you’ve learned about the goal and about yourself. Like my friend who plans to start a podcast, she celebrated her wins and acknowledged what she learned about podcasts including how to start them, what technology she would need to use and how to find her audience. More importantly though, acknowledge what you’ve learned personally. Have you gained more self-confidence? Have you gained better communication skills? Or have you become more understanding about your own feelings and desires? Take inventory for a few minutes and write down how you personally have changed as you’ve worked toward reaching your goal.
- Often, we set really big goals like “I’m going to losing 60 pounds this year!” While it may be a reasonable goal to reach within a year, it’s a big one and it’s going to take action that is applied each day to reach that goal. Try setting mini goals that align with your bigger goal. For example, plan your meals for just 24 hours and stick to your plan no matter what. Sit down the night before and plan exactly what you will eat the next day. Prepare your food if desired and then stick to it. If something changes and you want something different to eat say no just for today. Stick to your plan and allow yourself to build that food that you desire into your plan the next day but honor the plan that you’ve already created and honor your promise to yourself. It’s only 24 hours and you can do anything for 24 hours.
- Tip number five is to evaluate your goal. Why are you setting this goal? Who did you set it for? Did you set it because it’s something you truly desire or did you set it because someone else is doing it or a peer thinks you should do it. It’s much more motivating to take action toward something that is meaningful to you. So, make sure it’s a goal you want and that you’ve allowed yourself the time and space to reach it.
Well, there you have it my friend. Life is short so enjoy it and take time to appreciate how far you’ve come. You deserve to dream big, reach your goals and always “Live Life Healthy and Happy”.
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